Birthday Bash Part 14 by Jessie Lane

August 16, 2013 Giveaway, Guest Post 1


If you missed any of the previous posts, sections, or are wondering what the heck this is, click here to be taken to the intro post, which also has links to all the other posts. 🙂

A giant sized super model! Laura rubbed her hands over her eyes and prayed she was dreaming. Hadn’t she been through enough already? Now this? Pulling her hands away from her face she looked back up and still the gigantic woman was standing there looking peeved. She was dressed in a raggedy looking black mini skirt and a red t-shirt that said “Got Beans?” across her chest. The giant flicked her long raven black hair over her shoulder and glared down at Prince.

“Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you? I missed my hair appointment!” She screeched.

Prince moved out of his fighting stance, sheathed his sword, and threw his hands in the air in what looked like complete exasperation. “My God woman! Do you have to be so dramatic all of the time? You didn’t have to go running around, all “Fee Fi Fo Fum, where is my anti frizz hair serum!”

The giant bent over at the waist so that her face hovered a few feet above Prince’s head. Her left hand was holding a handful of her hair, and she waved the locks in between her and Prince. “Do you know what my split ends are like? I don’t see you volunteering to cut them off for me!”

Laura’s brain felt like it was going to explode. She rubbed her forehead, trying to soothe some of her insta-headache. So far she’d encountered killer red capes, a chupacabra, a dragon, flying monkeys flinging shit, magic, her werewolf husband who was apparently a traitor and now she was looking at an over-sized drama queen. Just what kind of place was this?

Tired of listening to Prince and the giant Barbie doll arguing about appointments, hair conditioner and split ends, Laura shouted, “Would both of you shut the hell up already?! I want to get to Granny’s before something else comes along trying to kill me!”

The giant rolled her eyes. “Why do you think I’m here?”

Laura snapped, “To annoy me?”

The giant stepped over Prince to stand right in front of Laura. When Laura tipped her head back to look the giant in the eye, she got an eyeful of something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She clapped a hand over her eyes just as the giant yelled back at her.

“Granny sent me to help you get to her house safely Princess! You should be thanking me!”

Refusing to remove her hand from over her eyes, Laura shouted back, “I’d give you more thank you’s than you could count if you’d put some freakin’ panties on! No one wants a muff shot lady!”

By the end of her rant, Laura felt strong hands turning her body to face the other direction. Prince’s voice had a slight growl when he spoke. “Why did Granny send you Fiona?”

The giant huffed, “Granny sent me because you two have to hurry! We have to get Princess Laura to her house before…

Jessie Lane is the writing team of Crystal Leo and Melissa Pahl. The two sisters-in-law share a passionate love of naughty romance, cliff hanging suspense, and out-of-this-world characters that demand your attention, or threaten to slap you around until you do pay attention to them. Because really, it is ALL about the characters. (They’re kind of megalomaniacs – but don’t tell them that we said that.)

Connect with Lane:
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